"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." -- Mahatma Gandhi
It's crazy how time and experience can change you so drastically, so fast. Even just a year ago, I would have never imagined that I'd be the person I am now. However, in the midst of all the changes, I must say that I am a lot happier and, most of all, stronger than I had been before.
A year ago I was a go-lucky kind of gal who believed that the clouds were made of cotton candy and uniforms roamed the fields. Well, not quite, but I didn't see reality as it was. I had trust in people. I believed that people had genuine care for people. Now I realize that most friendships are made to be broken and that honesty is nothing but a thing of the past. If you don't like someone, make it known. If you have something to say, SAY it. Stop being so damn two-faced and acting oblivious to your own hatred. Then you'll tell all your friends about how distasteful the other's words were to get them closer to your side. Play the victim, but I don't want to be a part of your games anymore. A friend is someone who is supposed to bring you up, not lead you to a cliff then silently push you off the edge. No more.
You've been quite an exciting ride for me, 2010. I've learned a lot more in half a year than I've learned in the past 20 years of my life. For once in my life I hung on and fought for something I felt was important to me. Up to this point, my motto was "if it's meant to be, it's meant to be", if not, meh. But honestly, I am so glad that this ONE time, I decided--no, felt the NEED--to give it a good fight. Why have I not fought harder for the things and people I cared for in my life in the past? Or is it that I never had anything worth fighting for? I don't know, this entry is going all over the place... I really need to blog at a decent hour so my brain doesn't have to work over-time to spit out my thoughts.
Goodnight world.
